I don’t have cable, so when the NFL puts games on NFL Network I don’t get to see them. However, I do have SiriusXM, and because I was on-call and ended up having to go to Nebraska yesterday, I listened to two of the three Saturday games.


Texans 23, Bucs 20: This game was bananas. The Bucs had 4 first half turnovers, 3 of which were Jameis Winston pics because of course they were. So, the Texans must have been blowing them out, right? Nope. Tied at halftime. Jameis threw one more pick for good measure in the second half and the Texans held on to win and clinch the AFC South. Man, I can’t help but think they’re in for a rough time in the playoffs.

Patriots 24, Bills 17: Dammit Bills, everyone in the country was pulling for you. Now I have to root for the Chiefs the last two weeks to keep the Pats out of a top seed? You’re dead to me.

49ers 34, Rams 31: I didn’t get to see or listen to any of this one and I regret it. The Rams had a two-score lead in the 2nd quarter until the Niners scored two TDs in under two minutes thanks to a pick six thrown by Jared Goff. Then they had back and forth leads until Robbie Gould kicked the game winner. The Rams are eliminated from the playoffs, so we don’t have to worry about them getting to the Super Bowl and shitting the bed again.

I am a fan of a bad football team. The next paragraph is about them, so feel free to skip ahead.



I don’t think any of us were too bummed out by the Broncos’ loss to KC. They were playing a vastly better team in the middle of a snownado. Shit happens. Today they’ll be hosting the Detroit Lions’ Junior Varsity squad on what will be a beautiful 60+ degree day in front of tens of fans. I really wanted to go to the game today, because tickets are cheap for once and I barely ever get to go to the games. Unfortunately I’m on call, so I can’t. On paper the Broncos should win easily, but this season I don’t take anything for granted. We might get to see Kyle Sloter play QB for the Lions at some point. Sloter was briefly a Broncos QB a couple preseasons ago and he tore it up. The Broncos then half-heartedly tried to land him on the practice squad but the Vikings snatched him up and he was gone. We have a kind of weird reverence for him here. If he gets into the game, he might hear cheers.



Only one CBS game for us in Denver and it’s the Lions-Broncos game. Wait, shouldn’t this game be on Fox? I don’t understand the TV contracts anymore. On Fox we get to start with the Saints-Titans, which seems like it will either be a great game or the Saints crush the Titans. Either way I’d say the Saints win. Then we’ll be forced to watch the Eagles-Cowboys. I really want the Eagles to knock the Cowboys out. SNF is Chiefs-Bears. I’m sorry, Bears fans, but the Chiefs have to win this one. I do not want the Pats to get a bye. MNF is a rare good game, Packers-Vikings. The Vikings are already in by virtue of the Rams’ loss, and so are the Packers. They still have to decide the division, though. I’m feeling the Packers probably get the win, but you never know.


The rest:

Jaguars-Falcons - Ugh. Probably Falcons.

Ravens-Browns - The Browns beat them once this year so anything’s possible, but I wouldn’t bet against the Ravens now.


Panthers-Colts - Lots of games with eliminated teams today. Colts.

Bengals-Dolphins - Oy. Dolphins aren’t as bad as the Bengals, are they? I’ll take Miami.


Steelers-Jets - I hate the Steelers but they probably win.

Giants-Redskins - Fuck Dan Snyder.

Raiders-Chargers - Homeless, they are homeless...

Cardinals-Seahawks - Bleh.

Oh great.  I have to go into work now.  Yay me.  Enjoy the games!

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