Say you’re all dressed up and on your way to your favorite tunnel for your hip tunnel party that all your friends are into now. Oh no! Someone has thoughtlessly placed ramps at high angles at the entrance. We’ve all been there am I right? Thankfully you’re driving the 2020 Range Rover Evoque which handily dispatches the ramps with its sophisticated chassis designed specifically for urban exploration. “Amaze Balls!” you probably say because it’s the kind of 3 year old expression you still think is appropriate. Amaze balls indeed! But what’s this?! This ramp is exactly the kind of ramp that stopped me last year in my lesser luxury crossover, but you know this 23.3 degree ramp is no match for your sophisticated AWD system. This is exactly what this machine was made to do and its thriving!

Oh, that wasn’t even the right way? how embarrassing, thankfully no harm done. Its getting late though, you wonder if they’ll have started the Artisanal wood selection without you! Aha a shortcut, right up on to the empty coal cars. Coal is such a filthy business. you’re glad you’re bathed in chic british elegance instead and yet you can’t help wonder if there is someone you can ask about upcycling those railroad ties, they would look so retro vintage in your microbrew man cave. GASP! A POOL! Thankfully no more than 500 mm. 500 mm! I can’t believe what an absolute animal this is!

More railroads? Maybe you misread the theme tonight? No matter? Have to go over it...probably! Wow you can see through the floor! This railroad mishap is turned into the perfect and perhaps only opportunity to use this disrupting off-road technology.  What could have been a disaster turns out to be a real adventure, somehow perfectly suited to the rugged nature of the new 2020 Range Rover Evoque!  Now where is everyone?  Damn and Blast.  Wrong tunnel.