So have a Viper, and be forwarned, personal stuff ahead.

Anyway, yesterday, I discovered something that anyone with a brain would know instantly. I discovered that if you’ve had a hemorrhoid cut out, and then have to spend two hours in a car running from a tornado because your house has the structural integrity of one made of cards, and that car is a 2013 Mazda3, the seats will do their damndest to kill you. Also, you will bleed. And your wife will make fun of you. And then you’ll come home to see that the tornado missed your house by a good 10 miles, but it’s ok because the second you walk in the door your electricity goes out for the rest of the night. Blargh.