I mean when you really think about it, there is no other vehicle in the US that lets people know you’re wild-thing’n every Thursday night the way a brand new minivan does. Luxury wagon, that’s for DINK households that work too much. Three-row SUV, fast track to alimony city. But a new minivan broadcasts that you are effective, efficient, active, confident, a team builder, and place the needs of others before yourself. You’re the template for what every resume calls for, but how much more success is left to obtain after a brand new minivan?

We should all strive to be so amassed in the unbridled sexy radiance that life rewards onto those with the privelege to own a brand new minivan. Minivans, the only vehicles always at the pump, and I’m not talkin’ gas stations. Sho’ you right!