... on whether I have a job or not tomorrow. Ha ha.

At least it’d give me contract violation. Actually, two violations at this point, I believe.

“The Base Salary will be reviewed annually as part of the Company’s normal salary review process” - well, guess whose annual review is now more than six weeks overdue? Nevermind the fact that the company handbook (which is another contract portion) which explicitly spells out the review process and disciplinary actions required before termination. (Meaning at-will, isn’t.)

“In addition, you will be eligible to participate in any bonus plan in which similarly-situated employees are eligible to participate.” - this one’s a bit trickier. But I suspect a decent lawyer could make hay given the people who set our bonus conditions deliberately set it up so that we cannot possibly earn them.

Sad that not having this job would be such a relief. Basically have been so depressed since yesterday, I skipped an AutoX event over in Toledo I promised someone I would make today. I was even going to run Onyxia and embarrass myself. (I’m still struggling with throttle control in the low gears.)


I did take Onyxia out for a good hour around some twisty roads around sunset. Played a bit with a Miata and also some motorcycles. Didn’t help with my mood, didn’t help with the depression, didn’t bring any joy back to my weekend.

Because back of my mind, I gotta get up early Mondays and attend the team meeting outside of my working hours. Which I invariably get bitched at for missing even though it’s outside my fucking working hours which we were allocated a new hire to fix until said new opening was stolen from us. So instead I’m stuck trying to perform a senior role, in a junior timeslot, that makes it difficult to impossible to do my job effectively.

Which is of course my fault, because I’m not working 80+ hour weeks getting up at 10AM and working straight through till 2AM. And because other people go on vacation. And because other people just don’t do their jobs.


Probably shouldn’t be posting this stuff, but I need to vent or I am just going to end up back at suicidal. Fuck. All I ever wanted was to contribute meaningfully, to have a manager that would enable me to knock socks off. Instead I get total disrespect, veiled insults, and someone who refuses to advocate for the people they’re responsible for.

Time for whisky and bed.