Ode to the CLK Black

While looking at CLK63 Black Series for sale (for fun), it dawns on me it wasn't as appreciated as it should have been. The Hammer and the Red Swine are examples of what we love from AMG; heavy cars with big engines that were brash. Overstated doesn't even begin to describe the overwrought fenders on these cars.

AMG started their Black Series with the SLK. The car was generally unloved, being too harsh and not powerful enough. But maybe it wasn't in your face enough?


Look at a CLK63 AMG:

Every wheel arch is far too big. The four exhausts with the gigantic diffuser. All the many oversized vents on each corner.

We often talk of sleepers, this is the opposite of that. This is a "LOOOOOOK AT MEEEEEE" car, it looks like a DTM racer for the road. Beautiful is a word a select few would use to describe its many creases and vents. And it's based off of a extremely boring coupe. The regular CLK was a grandmother's car (I can say this, my mother owns one, and she recently became a grandmother).


AMG and Mercedes didn't make the CLK Black to be a GT, the suspension is far too hard. But it's also not a stripped track car, it weighs more than the regular CLK63 AMG. They realized what the world wanted, nay needed, was a ridiculous car that would turn tires into smoke.


It wasn't the fastest car in its segment; as fast as the E85 Z4M and slower than an E90 M3 on the Top Gear Track. But can you honestly say that in either one of those cars you'd get as many smiles per mile as you would out of a Black Series? Mercedes prides itself on being a refined car company, yet they decided to build this, on of the least refined cars of its time.

I remember my brother explaining to me why he loved the Subaru WRX STi. He explained he loved the big wing and gold wheels, saying it looked like a toy. I now understand his sentiment, but with the CLK Black it is even more guttural and vicious. It looks like a Star Wars toy in car form. Darth Vader would hoon the crap out of one.


I say bravo CLK63 AMG Black Series! (Jesus that's a mouthful) Let us enjoy a picture of one doing what it does best, destroying tires:


Time for a scotch.

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