Greetings from the Panera next to Discount Tire! I’m waiting for them to install non-shitty tires on my wife’s Impreza. She’s at work. I left my car at her office and took her car to Discount Tire. Because everyone decides to get new tires when it snows in Wisconsin, my car was #22 in line when I dropped it off.

The earliest appointments Discount Tire had available were next week. Which would normally be no big deal even though it’s supposed to snow or sleet or something over the time we’ll be visiting her family for Christmas ~80 miles away, because we’d just take my 335xi with its snow tires and be fine. But there’s some old bench at her mom’s house she wants, and it won’t fit in my car, so I wanted/needed to get the BFG g-Force Comp-2 A/S tires I ordered on her car before we left. Because these are the OE tires that Subaru kindly included on her car, even though one of the main selling points of this car is that it’s supposed to be good in winter.

My wife works 11:30 am to 9:30 pm, and my hours are much more flexible at the moment since I left my desk job to open a restaurant. Things I want to do today include continuing work on my business plan, hitting the gym, and making tacos for dinner to sync up with my wife’s 4:30 pm “lunch” break from work.

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Before I knew I was going to be car number goddamn friggin 22 in line at Discount Tire, the plan was I would do my business plan stuff at Panera while waiting for the tires, then drop her car at her job and take mine home to make tacos. Except now it’s maybe not going to be ready until after her break.

I thought maybe I’d uber it back to her office and pick up my car, but then to pick up her car I’d need to either leave my car at home and uber it back to Discount Tire, or go get her and bring her to Discount Tire to pick up her car, and it’s still likely that the timing of her car being ready will disrupt the all-important tacos for dinner.

Oh, and my car’s a stick, and she doesn’t drive stick, so she can’t just drive it home.

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Therefore, I’m requesting the collective minds of Oppo figure me out some kind of logistical solution that avoids both me sitting at Panera until 5 pm, and allows me to make tacos for my wife. This might be like asking the proverbial room full of monkeys with typewriters to come up with Shakespeare, but I have faith in you!

UPDATE: Here’s how I de-pickled. I ubered it from Panera to my wife’s office, picked up my car and went home. I did business plan stuff, and Discount Tire called around 3:30 to say the car was ready (thanks for sandbagging that time, guys). I texted the wife that her car was ready, started making the tacos, got the meat simmering and garnishes chopped/minced, drove to her office to pick her up and bring her to Discount Tire, we both drove home, I assembled tacos for her, then unloaded the shitty OE tires from her car that I’m now going to put on craigslist, and returned her back seats to their upright and locked position. She’s about to head to work and I’m going to head to the gym. So...not much of a pickle.

It’s not exactly snowing right now but there’s still some leftover snow and slush, and her very initial impression is that the car feels more grippy. So that’s something. Also nice about the new tires is they run a bit wide for their size and have a rim protector bead. Her wheels are gunmetal and wheels that are any color other than silver really show curb rash bad. We haven’t curbed a wheel on her car yet (knock on wood) but nice to know there’s a bit meatier of a tire on there now.