Ok horribly shitty English out of the way, let's get down to brass tacks. I seriously do not understand stancing. I fully understand lowriders. I have many Cholo family members who at one point or another, mostly between stints in lockup, participated in lowrider and hyrdaulic cultures. Low riders are still kind of fucking cool to me, but stancing seems like some kind of hipster take on modifying car. Like maybe they are doing it in protest. I have this horrible monologue of stancers in my head all the time.

"Hey, braj. You through getting swagged out for school (or whatever, I don't know these kinds of people)?"

"Yeah, except I need to make sure my car is as ridiculous as my skinny jeans, oddly shaped skate shoes, flat-billed hat, random hodge-podge mess of tattoos, 80s glasses, and tank top."

"How are you going to do that?"

"Well, you know how we dress like this because it's ironic and opposite of how people are supposed to dress when they are anywhere besides the beach?"



"Well, what if we cut the springs on my car, kind of like a low-rider, except we won't put in hydraulics or airbags, and instead we will put in a camber kit that makes the wheels look like a bowlegged prison bitch who just got his b*hole blown out?"


"That'd be so swag dude, hey can we put some of that handwriting that they don't teach in school anymore on the windows?"

"Yeah, what was that stuff called? Cursive?"

"Yeah that's it. We can make it say something like 'hard-parked' like the car was driven so hard and fast that when we parked it, it was exhausted and needed to sleep."


"Braj, that's so swag."

"Ha, yeah swag."


I recently saw a beat up, front-bumper-less WRX (old body style) that was stanced horribly. The two teenagers driving it had the calligraphy stickers all over the windshield and rear window. They had the bumper off I suppose so that they could work on the chopped suspension. Note this car was beige/grey, it had the stretched to fit tires and the horrifying camber kit.


But wait, there's more:


Seriously, what the fuck are you doing kid? I even asked the kid what's the point of the roll cage. He replied, "It's for looks." And then he and his buddy proceeded to drive around the Walgreens parking lot in weird ovals (because they could not complete a circle due to the stanced front end).


For your time have a cool low-rider:


And have this beetle, this is my example of making a car look exhausted:


And also have a car that I hope no stance nation kid ever gets a hold of