This coworker KNOWS I’m the one into cars. We found an ND Miata muffler and, while I really have no use for it, I just immediately assumed it was coming home with me. Nope! He yells “DIBS!” and puts it in his pile of crap to sell. We also found a box of old electronics and he decided that he’s going to take the entire box for himself, whereas every other coworker and myself would usually dig through it together and ask each other if we want anything specific.

Oh, and just to make it more clear that he’s a piece of shit: he regularly convinces customers that we donate everything. While it’s true that we (the company, not he and I) donate a lot of stuff, he NEVER does. Oh, this armoire was in your family for three generations and you want it to go to a good home? Well, it’s going straight to the dump because you happened to get the laziest asshole we have to come and take it.