Combining two themes in one, because that’s the Texan way.

Obviously, there were no photos of the Battle of the Alamo because photography was just barely becoming a thing in the U.S. back in 1836, so the battle recreation below will have to suffice:

That day, ladies and gents, was what would fuel the Texians’ rage and provide the impetus needed to defeat Santa Anna at the Battle of Jacinto just over a month later. We won the revolution and have proudly been the Republic of Texas ever since (yes, even today, Texas is the greatest country in North America).

Which brings me to the second reason for this post:

I, Xyl0, am announcing my candidacy for Oppo president. I’m not late to the game, because a Texan is never late. A Texan always arrives precisely when they mean to.

Advertisement

Why vote for me? Because Texas, that’s why.

We here in the Lone Star State are fiercely independent. We have miles of road with 85mph speed limits that are perfect for hooning. We have COTA.

Many of the Jalopnik staff (former and present) come from this great state of mine, including Hardibird, Stef and Kat.

Advertisement

A vote for Xyl0 is a vote for freedom. It’s a vote for no emissions testing. It’s a vote for cheap fuel prices and wide open roads. It’s a vote for tacos (which are WAY better than burritos. My opponent HondaBruh is just wrong about burritos). It’s a vote for big sky country and for scenes like this greeting you every spring:

Vote for Xyl0 and remember the Alamo!

Advertisement

Also, enjoy this photo of the Texas State Capitol I shot:

Vote for Xyl0! :)

Edited to add:

My running mate is my cat Enzo. He’s an Oppocat — how perfect is that?!

Peter Black, SV Wrangler is my Minister of Transportation. Two wheels good for everyone with a vote for Xyl0.

Advertisement

Finally, DrJohannVegas will be my Secretary of State.

Once again, I thank you for your vote and all hail our cat overlords, I mean, please say hello to our next Vice President, Enzo!