I stopped for gas tonight. Since the gas tax went up in New Jersey, it no longer matters where I stop for gas*.

I get out of the car. Open the tank. Swipe my card. Remove the nozzle. Press Premium. Go to inset nozzle. The hose hits Plus. I go to press Premium. It’s locked out. I cancel. I return the nozzle.

I swipe my card. Remove the nozzle. Press Premium. Go to inset nozzle. The hose hits Plus. I go to press Premium. It’s locked out. I cancel. I return the nozzle.

I swipe my card. Remove the nozzle. Press Premium. Go to inset nozzle. The hose hits Plus. I go to press Premium. It’s locked out. I cancel. I return the nozzle.

I swipe my card. Amex has now frozen my card, since I’ve had three $125 pre-authorizations for gas in 30 seconds.

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In my many years of driving, I’ve never once had the hose change the grade, but this time it wouldn’t stop

So I dig around for my bank card. Swipe it PUT THE NOZZLE IN FIRST. Select Premium.

Then my Jag decides to do the thing it sometimes does and keeps triggering the shut-off. I didn’t even need gas, I had 3/4 of a tank, but now it was personal. So I sat there for over five minutes with the trigger depressed about a 1/10 of the way, watching it slowly click in at a rate of about $0.01 a second.

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* As an aside, people who regularly pump their own gas are a bit delusional. Yes, all things being equal, it’s faster to pump your own, but my experience has been that most of the time, if a pump isn’t open, it’s always slower since half the drivers are inside paying cash. Leaving your car when getting gas in New Jersey is a way to get run over by the person waiting behind you, so at peak times, it’s always faster.