One time as a child, I'm pretty sure I almost got kidnapped and/or killed.

I was thinking about this and thought I would share.

This was the early 90s, so stranger danger was very much a thing, but my mom grew up in the 50s, so it didn’t really factor into her thinking. In fact, as a child, a always half suspected that she wanted to abandon me, because I would frequently be looking at something in a store only to realize she had disappeared. I very quickly learned to go up to the customer service desk in whatever store I was in and ask them to call her over the loudspeaker.


At any rate, when I was about ten years old, I went with my mom to the mall. While she was in Macy’s, I decided to take a walk to the other side of the mall to go to Sears. After getting bored with playing with power tools or whatever I was doing, I decided to go back to Macy’s. Rather than going back through the mall, I decided to exit out the back door of Sears and walk along the outside of the mall.

After I rounded the first corner, I noticed the sound of a car driving very, very slowly behind me as I was walking down the sidewalk. Rather intelligently, as soon as I reached the next entrance, I went back inside Sears and the car drove off. Being a fairly smart child, I decided that my best course of action was to get back to my mom as soon as possible. Being a very stupid child, I decided that the fastest way to do so was to go back outside and cut through the parking lot, since the shortest way between two points is a straight line.

Illustration for article titled One time as a child, Im pretty sure I almost got kidnapped and/or killed.

So I went back out the door and started walking through the parking lot. I made it about half way through the parking lot when looked and saw the same car idling by the mall’s main entrance. They evidently saw me as well, because they suddenly took off towards me in the parking lot. I started running with the sound of the car going flat out behind me when suddenly I heard a huge crash and screeching tires. I never stopped to look; I just kept running until I made it inside, but I imagine that they must have t-boned a car pulling out of a parking spot.


I don’t really know exactly what that was about. I’ve assume that it was probably some dipshit teenagers fucking around with me. It’s always stuck with me, though, because it was the only hairy situation I’ve been in where I wasn’t at least somewhat at fault (mostly because I have a bad habit of escalating altercations).

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