"If you are a mechanic or car passionate that would like to challenge yourself with the worst car I have ever seen in my life, here is your great opportunity to buy my 1997 Jaguar XK8.
We had this crap for 7+ years and it only brought troubles. We hate this car and want to get rid of it. If you are willing to pay $2500 for it and dismantle it into smaller parts and sell next halloween to scare even more people, or you have guts to try to fix it - here i syour chance. This car sucks! The engine starts up but it runs rough, it does not keep idle. The transmission ubruptly changes gears and (in a 'limp home' mode), and it also requires some minor body work. It has 107k original miles, but it behaves like it has 3 millions at least.
If you are still reading this you are having way to much time, or you might need some professional psychiatric advisory, or you are the perfect buyer, which we are looking for. I have NO time for tire kicking, fun rides or your funny faces. I want to get rid of this piece of $#IT. If you are ready to give me $2500 cash without questions, the car is yours. And it is going to suck. If you like thrilling experiences, yes you can drive it home, otherwise I would recommend to get it towed.
Please get back via email (preferably with your phone number and a brief story why you want that crap, so I can distinguish you from scammers and idiots who do not know that they do not want this car). "