Hi, I’m Dr. Zoidberg. You may remember from me such posts as, “Welp,” and, “OOOUAUUAUAGAHAAAHHAUHHH.”

Today I come to you in moderate defeat. I had bought a printer almost exactly one year ago today, and many of you warned me it was not the craftiest consumer purchase. Not Tercel-bad, but about as fleeting.

Well as other reviews you may find lamented: my wifi/wireless never worked, it’s cheap and crappy (which I didn’t mind, but I also like things to work), and the replacement cartridges? They cost as much as the printer itself. Also I’ve barely printed anything at all, yet black has been low and streaking for several months now. I have no interest in moving forward with this.

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So puhleeeeeeeeez help me by recommending a good printer for my needs.

- we don’t print a lot of photos but want the freedom to do so
- ink that actually lasts
- wifi that works
- feeder scanner
- flatbed for copying/single scan
- isn’t a gigantic piece of POOOOOOOO
- fairly idiot-proof to set up, because I’m an idiot

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Thanks!