Opposite Sock

What’s it like to wear the newest Bombas ankle-height Hex Tec socks? Recently I got a chance to find out, and let me tell you, the results will surprise no one!

Illustration for article titled Opposite Sock

[full disclosure: Bombas wanted me to review these socks so badly, they sold some to my marketing-gullible wife, who, while brilliant and wonderful, is woefully susceptible to advertising. As a kid, her father was skipping a commercial in a recorded program - on VHS no doubt - and she asked “but daddy, how will you know what to buy?” Where was I? Oh yeah, she sees ads for things and buys them. Sometimes it works out. She bought me some Bombas socks.]

Easter is my wife’s favorite holiday, because it’s like Thanksgiving but with more candy, more sunlight, and the prospect of SPRING, as opposed to the coming Darkest Days of Winter. She buys me presents, so I reciprocate, of course. This year I got several pairs of these socks, “because you’re walking around the house all day in socks right now, so why not have some nice ones?” And hoo boy, let me tell you I was not disappointed. I mean, for context, my sock tastes are binary: I basically don’t wear socks in the summer except for mt. biking or hiking, and in the winter, I wear SmartWool or Patagonia ski/winter socks almost exclusively.



This is arguably all that really matters with socks. These fit like a racing seat - just the right amount of support and grip in just the right places. Not too tight anywhere, but they also don’t slide down your ankles much. That can be hard to achieve in a sock that doesn’t go all the way up the calf, because physics. But somehow, like a sporty SUV, these things surprise me in how well they manage considering their obvious handicap.



Seriously, these things slide like Colin McRae on my hardwood floors, and on the tarmac, er, carpet, they grip like nobody’s business. Yet when ascending or descending my death-trap hardwood stairs, I don’t feel like I’m risking my life, the grip is just right.



While these are naturally aspirated like all socks, the airflow is totally adequate, honestly, better than most. Certainly compared to your run-of-the-mill diesel, er, cotton socks, these breathe like an individually-throttle-bodied BMW straight-six M engine. I have sweaty feet and these things keep up right up to WOT. Peak torque is probably mid-RPM range; I suspect these would struggle to keep up above 5,000 RPM, by which I mean 80 degrees Fahrenheit. I have yet to find out, because we’ve only really had one day above 60 here this spring, and I went barefoot because of course.



WTF does it matter what your socks look like when you’re stuck in your house and they get covered with shoes and pants when you go out anyway? Well, the colors I have are all fantastic; interesting without being flamboyant. Just eye-catching enough to be memorable, yet not raising any eyebrows or secretive whispers of “look at That guy’s SOCKS...”


Overall Score

10/10 - no surprises here. I like these socks enough that I’ve planned my laundry cycle around them. I have worn them every day since April 12. When I pull my last pair out of the drawer, I instinctively go to my laundry basket, traipse down the two flights of hardwood stairs - in luxurious comfort and confident safety - to the washing machine. Where I inevitably find a washer and dryer both full of some OTHER laundry, that I now have to deal with before putting my own in. But it’s all worth it.


Yesterday I was behind in my laundry and put on regular Puma cotton socks; my feet were so offended I marched down to the laundry room and pulled a pair of Bombas out of the dryer - that was a close one. I should have just put the Pumas in the rag pile, but they serve a purpose. It’s like keeping a Mitsubishi Mirage around as an extra vehicle, while you daily an E46 M3.

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