If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln


I’m a spaz, I’m aware of this. I confirmed it to my co-workers this morning.

I’m walking into work chewing gum and bite my tongue so hard I felt dizzy. My instant reaction was to yelp and clench my fists, waving them a bit as the surprising pain completely overwhelmed me.

So mind you, I’m in a parking lot, so there are others there too. They all turn like I’ve been hit by a car, only to see a grown man punching the air with a look of sheer pain on his face and nothing else anywhere near him.

No amount of explaining will correct this situation.

Then I realize my boss’ boss is behind me and totally taken aback by this entire thing. So I do the only thing I can do.


I turn to her and calmly said,

“Happy Monday.”


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