You can pull in any time you like, but you can never leave.

I had to go to a meeting in the morning, so I parked in a garage. When I went to leave, the gate wouldn’t take my parking ticket. It was impossible to see with all of the glare, but I finally made out that the gate way closed.

First I checked for another exit, but there was only one. Then I hit the call button, but there was no answer. Then I checked the attendant booth, but there was a sign saying they were closed. Then I hit the call button a few more times.

Then I carefully photographed everything, including my paid ticket.

Then I said “fuck it, ain’t nobody got time for this bullshit.” And pulled the gate off it’s hinge, propped it up, eyeballed the clearances, said a Hail Mary, and drove under.


Then I stopped, out the gate back into place, and was all like “how you like me now, Satan garage?”