I don’t have time for road rage. I drive like a pretty ordinary guy. But this morning after I dropped my wife off at work, I had to wait at a stop sign to merge from her office park to a divided, busy main road with a 55 mph speed limit. Some dude behind me decided I wasn’t moving fast enough because I was waiting for oncoming traffic to pass before I pulled out. He began blowing his horn and making a scene. I saw him flipping the bird and yelling at me in the rearview.

It’s moments like that when I wish I still had a beat-up old car. Because I could have turned on the hazard lights, popped the hood, and stayed in his way a while.

But when traffic cleared I pulled out and he got stuck waiting to the point that he was still sitting after I made the U-turn. Serves him right.