I’m undecided on the name (thanks Ramblin, you hoebag), but here are pictures of what $300 gets you in Wisconsin.
Pictured: a Pontiac with AC, cruise control, power locks, and power windows. Also a Hyundai with none of those things.
It has a stick and an Alpine head unit.
I’m going to see if I can sell things off of it to get it as close to zero cost. After all, you don’t really need bumper covers, right?