My daily craigslist search for stupid cars has turned up this lovely creature—a midnight blue 1985 Mercury Topaz for the low, low price of $600. Why do I want this so badly?

It’s $600, what could go wrong

This Topaz features the 2.3 HSC motor, which churned out a staggering 90 horsepower when new. It also features the 3-speed slushbox which is sure to sap half of those horses.

Mercury Slooooowpaz.

I can see few redeemable qualities of this car, yet my uncontrollable nostalgia for 1980s utilitarian econoboxes is at it’s height.

Any reason why I shouldn’t ignore my inner voice reminding me that I’m becoming a hoarder of terrible cars?