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Polish city names, translated into English

Poland is a highly diverse both scenically and culturally mostly flat country in Europe with picturesque countryside, dragons, racists, Catholic racists, and spirits both distilled and fermented.

Illustration for article titled Polish city names, translated into English

Join me in a tour of my storied and ancient home country.

We start in the Polish-German border town of Pigexit. After, we make our way south to the city of Police. Closer to the Baltic coast, we find the village of Totheleft. South again, there is Wet Lutol, and Dry Lutol. Clear on the other side of Poland near the Belarusian and Ukrainian borders lies the tiny town of Tits. In the same region there is Proteins, but there are thirteen towns in Poland named Proteins, and three rivers, so maybe it isn’t that special.


Of this Frog lies north of there. There is sadly no town in Poland named Behindthewalls, because everything here has a cute diminutive, so there are instead three towns called Behindthewallsies. However, continuing our jaunt of the Eastern border area, we find the villages of Slang Term for Air Conditioning but in the Plural and Big and BlackDownspoutylakes lies close to the Lithuanian border. And finally, with a population of 700,000, the sprawling metropolis of Boat. Which may or may not be located 350 km from the Baltic sea.

Join us next time for more fun facts about Poland, the richest country in East Asia

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