Pretentious office coffee, Day 1:

I’ve put up with the terrible coffee that our office coffee robot makes for far too long. Just so you can place me on the coffee spectrum, I work in Seattle and care about good coffee, but I won’t refuse to drink Starbucks or bad office coffee. At home, I make good coffee, usually using an aeropress.

Visual approximation of coffee robot:


I decided this year, that I’d had enough of that horrible coffee robot coffee, but I also wanted the slowest, most meticulous process for making my morning office coffee. You get more of a placebo effect if your “medicine” is harder to prepare, and I also want to keep myself from over-indulging. Also, I figure if preparing my coffee this way ever feels like too much work, there are lots of steps I can take before going back to the arms of the abusive coffee robot.

So I settled on a Kalita Wave pour over... uh, device, and a hand burr grinder, for stealth, cost effectiveness, and exercise. Pretentious level 5000!

My first attempt went badly. I was lazy and ground the coffee on the most coarse setting and then poured an entire cup’s worth of hot water over the beans at once (the user manual is only in Japanese). The water went right through and the result did not even approximate coffee. Damn.

Undeterred (well, maybe a little deterred), I set my grinder to a finer setting and googled how the hell to make pour over coffee. It took a little longer to grind at this setting, but not too bad. Maybe 2 minutes? I followed the instructions this time, letting the coffee “bloom” and adding less water at a time.


The result? Awesome! It was a fantastic cup of coffee that is way better than the robot makes and even better than the very good coffee shop in our building, but mostly because I chose beans that I like better.

Once I stop making mistakes, this method will only take about 5 minutes, which is faster than going to the coffee shop and really not that bad. I have zero complaints about the taste and would gladly pay $5 for a cup that tastes like this.


I’ll finish out the bag of beans this way, but I can see going even further into pretentiousness and getting a scale and then possibly my own kettle. Goose-neck, obviously.

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