I have reason to believe my cats are trying to kill me. Given the supporting argument from The Oatmeal (How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you) I now believe it’s true.

As I was carrying a giant 65lb box (Threshold furniture that we bought on impulse because we’re addicted) down the stairs to load in my car to return back to Target, I almost died.

Behold the killing device:

See it yet? Exactly. It is a very strategically place catnip ball at the bottom of the staircase which I stepped on and almost rolled my ankle which would have had the giant box come crashing down on me instantly smothering me. Combined with a dark room, giant box blocking my view, and matching carpet you get a cat’s perfect assassination, an “accident.”

Portrait of the deadly killer:


Lucky for me I was able to right myself after a few stumbles unharmed.

Maybe next time I won’t be so lucky.