Breh! Brah! BRUH! How many Bros?!

5/5 bros? 7/10 nutz? 2/10 cancer treatments for coal clouds? 9 thumbs? 6/10 camo hoodies? The lack of standardization in Bro-ness rating is simply unacceptable. In light of recent rating requests and replies that vary across the board, I’d like to propose a new rating system for establishing bro-ness.

I’ll be throwing together a spreadsheet, likely a google doc, which should take into account a myriad of factors to establish a consistent baseline for bro ratings.


This will include really important things like:

  • Tire profile (XX/45RXX)
  • Amount of body panels with vinyl camo applique
  • total linear inches of lightbar
  • gun rack capacity
  • quantity and diameter of vertical exhaust outlets
  • distance between top of tire and bottom of wheel well
  • truck cleanliness (bonus if you can identify the last time it was waxed)
  • and so on.

I’m forgetting a few things. What am I omitting?