Punisher: War Zone is on Showtime on Demand. If you have it, watch it. It is probably the best comic book movie ever. The violence in it makes Deadpool and Kingsman look tame. It is what you want every action movie to be. Dominic West plays Jigsaw like a cross between Tommy Lee Jones’s Two Face and Paulie Walnuts. The Punisher decapitates an 80 year old paralyzed mob boss in the first 5 minutes. Chairs get pushed through eyes. The body count is well over 100, and over half of those are novelty deaths. This is a movie, where, in the first 10 minutes, the hero grabs an old lady by the face and snaps her neck, and it’s not that big of a novelty. The Punisher literally punches a hole through a guy’s head. It’s like an encyclopedia of movie violence, and should be treated as such. There’s cannibalism. There is a scene where the bad guy goes “let me AX you a question!” before plunging a hatchet into a guy’s stomach. There’s a scene involving parkour that is the goddamn funniest kill I’ve ever seen.

If you like 80’S ACTION, you’ll love Punisher: War Zone. If you ever wanted to watch a hard-R loony tunes cartoon, you’ll love Punisher: War Zone. If you enjoy fun, you’ll love Punisher: War Zone.

Now go watch Punisher: War Zone.