My offer to become Transport Secretary still stands.

Mariana Boy is a public servant that I respect quite a lot primarily because her existance broke up the Green Party-PRI alliance in Mexico City when she ran for mayor last year.

Overall she’s very liberal, and she’s a respected enviromentalist... unlike her new boss... erm, the mayor of Mexico City. Claudia Sheinbaum.

Boy took a job in the government of Mexico City as an enviromental DA so to speak. I’m glad that she chose to work with her (ideological) foe in order to advance her agenda rather than become a private citizen...which is what the other candidates did.

My offer to to become the Secretary of Transportation for Mexico City still stands, as the current office holder, Andres Lajaus, is the stupidest sunnufabitch ever to grace this earth.

So, if you would like to tell your boss about me, here’s a rundown of what I promise to do, atop some new stuff to sweeten the deal;


I will create a GNSS pricing system for Mexico City which will make you unelectable for the rest of your career!
I will LS swap Metrobuses so that the average speed rises from 30km/h to 100km/h!
I will create a new Uber-like app for the city’s taxis and then ban Uber and Lyft because it’s what the cool kids in Europe do.

I will turn the transit police into a shady organization that will investigate the secrete Chinese mafia, arrest corrupt politicians, and serve death sentences to those who dare park next to me and ding my door start doing their job and charge more traffic tickets.
I will also make invalid everysingle “Type A” driver’s licenses because we’re still not forced to take a driving exam and import a lot of swedes to teach us car control, that way Mexico City will turn into a literal gymkhana but at least people will know how roundabouts work!

I will also turn speed cameras 180 degrees and post the picture of the infractoring drivers to facebook, photoshop to make it look as if they’re doing something disgusting like digging their noses or driving a Pontiak Aztek.

Atop all of that,

I promise to make Metro wagons convertible, so that our spending on air-conditioning goes from zero, to negative zero!


I promise to install remote-control spikes in bus lanes so that cars and motorcycles don’t enter them!
I also promise to spend an egregious amount of money painting bicycle paths rather than fixing them. But at least this way cyclists can spot debris and pot holes better.

I also promise to make cab drivers install panic buttons for their passengers... But I won’t make them wire them so that a large voting group doesn’t go againts you!

I also promise to change emissions testing so that they only impact PAN and PRI voters. Even a Tesla would fail!