If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Puffalopnik

Scroll down...down...no, not that...scroll down...not the purse, either.

HA!

Puffalump.

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About the author

Stef Schrader

Contributor, Jalopnik. 1984 "Porschelump" 944 race car, 1971 Volkswagen 411 race car, 2010 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS.