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Random car thoughts

Late last year I got busy and decided to take a break from a whole lot of things. And then I realized I didn’t miss them and never went back. But I randomly decided to pop back in here. I shall now grace you with some random car thoughts:

Cars can have child seats, and ejection seats seem to be technically feasible. But what cars really need are child ejection seats.

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Tesla owners are apparently now required to claim that any non-electric vehicle accelerating anywhere near them on the highway is trying to roll coal on them. I assume that Elon Musk comes to take your car away if the onboard computer detects that you didn’t comment on it.

Car culture seems to have a lot of jackasses. I mean a LOT. More than a lot of other special interest cultures I’ve seen. I really don’t know why.

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The next car customization trend should be hair. Hair for cars. Picture the A-Team van with Mr T’s mohawk on the roof, or a black 1980s Trans Am with David Hasselhoff’s hair on top.

Why should sidecar fun be limited to motorcycles? They could be handy options for subcompact cars, in case you occasionally need to pick up friends or family at the airport and need extra space.

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The ultimate car accessory might be... its own car. Imagine driving up a ramp on to a platform on a larger vehicle, then it locks in to place and your controls operate the big vehicle. Or you park outside of the busy downtown area and roll to the office in a motorized driver’s seat.

I am almost certain that you could make a Star Wars / Fast and Furious combination work. Picture Han Solo saying “I live my life one quarter parsec at a time, kid.” And then there would be an illegal pod race down Kessel Avenue.

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I may or may not have been intoxicated while writing this. But don’t worry, I’m behind a keyboard, not a wheel. I’m not even using a wheel mouse right now.

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