Really, That's Your Vehicle Lineup? (Mazda)

Welcome to the second edition of, Really, That’s Your Vehicle Lineup? A series where I focus my alcohol fueled internet rage on an automaker and tell them how terrible they are at their jobs! Next up, Mazda.

First things first... Holy hell is the new Mazda 6 a good looking car. Scared you there for a second didn’t I? Oh yea and for whatever reason only like 4 people voted in the straw poll I put up earlier to figure out who was next, so I just picked someone.

Advertisement

Oh and why the fuck do half of your model names include Mazda in the fucking name? Seriously you don’t need to call it a Mazda Mazda3...

MOVING ON! Let’s list out the lineup options before we get too far into this:

  • Mazda3: 2.0L Skyactiv-G, 2.5L Skyactive-G
  • Mazda6: 2.5L Skyactiv-G
  • CX-3: 2.0L Skyactiv-G
  • CX-5: 2.5L Skyactiv-G
  • CX-9: 2.5L Turbo Skyactiv-G
  • MX-5: 2.0L Skyactiv-G

Yea you read that right. Mazda’s engine lineup is about as far from Ford’s over inflated bullshit as possible. They have fucking 3 total engine packages... THREE... It also means that this fucking car

Has the same goddamn engines as this beautiful fucking car...

Advertisement

WHY MAZDA?!? JUST PUT A FUCKING TURBO ON THAT 2.0L AND ALL WILL BE WELL!

Whatever. At least the engine makes decent... It makes 155 HP?.... Jesus that’s almost as bad as Ford’s 2.0L N/A... Oh the Ford engine is actually the predecessor to the Mazda Skyactiv 2.0L?... Wait so if Mazda released a Mazda3 2.0L Turbo it’d for sure put down better numbers than the ST?... And it sits on a remarkably well sorted platform? Oh and if it went into the Miata we’d be getting a 250+ HP Miata? What the holy fuck are you doing with yourselves Mazda?!?

Advertisement

Let’s get serious for a second. The Mazda3 is a phenomenal car that outclasses pretty much anything else that tries to compete with it, handles like a dream, gets pretty respectable fuel economy, oh and gets out performed by almost everyone... Seriously you can get an Elantra with 12 HP more than the 2.5L Mazda 3... Also a good topic to bring up, why the fuck can you get a 2.5L Mazda3 but not a 2.5L CX-3?... Explain that fucking gem of a fact.

So with all of that said, what do you think Mazda’s top selling vehicle is? The 3? Nope. What about the 6! That has to be it!... Nope, doesn’t sell well at all. It’s the CX-5....

Advertisement

Now don’t get me wrong, I really like the CX-5. I think it looks great, handles great, and it’s easily got my favorite interior in its class, but on paper it shouldn’t really sell very well. It doesn’t lead it’s class in anything but build quality and handling characteristics. Oh wait what’s that you say? It’s sales only look good in comparison to the rest of Mazda’s lineup and Ford sells more Escapes than Mazda sells total?... As in company wide?... Oh... What the shit Mazda? Fuck it let’s dig into your secret vault of engines and try and re-imagine what your lineup could be.

Advertisement
  • Mazda3: 2.0L, 2.0L, Turbo (MS)
  • Mazda6: 2.0L, 2.0L Turbo, 2.5L Turbo (MS)
  • Mazda9: 2.0L Turbo, 2.5L Turbo, 1.3L Range-Extended BEV
  • CX-3: 2.0L, 2.0L Turbo (MS)
  • CX-5: 2.0L, 2.0L Turbo, 2.5L Turbo (MS)
  • CX-9: 2.0L Turbo, 2.5L Turbo, 1.3L Range-Extended BEV
  • MX-5: 2.0L, 2.0L Turbo (MS)

Notable changes/Lack of changes:

  • Mazda9: For whatever reason Mazda doesn’t sell very well, and if you ask me I’d say it’s because they’re missing the demographic that would eat up their cars the most. This car, the Mazda9, would be targeting the large car segment sales head on. That’s right. I’m suggesting they launch a new model is the fastest shrinking vehicle segment in the US. Get at me.
  • Leaving the 2.0L N/A in the lineup but taking it out of Ford’s? Simple, Mazda figured out how to run stupid high compression ratios and return great fuel economy numbers out of that engine while keeping it reliable and it has a decent power band. AKA it doesn’t suck, they don’t have anything better, and people buy it, so don’t get rid of it. (To be fair, if it turns out that Mazdas 1.5L takes a turbo nicely and outperforms the 2.0L N/A then obviously I’d suggest it instead)
  • No 2.5L N/A? You could achieve better power with a very lightly boosted 2.0L while retaining most of the fuel economy. Fuck the 2.5L N/A
  • 2.5L Turbo Mazda6 and a 2.0L HO Turbo Mazda3?? AKA take on the Focus ST/Civic Type-R sales as well as the Fusion Sport segment. They’d suddenly have the best overall vehicles in both segments, its a no-brainer. (Yes that means the return of the MazdaSpeed branding)
  • Oh yea that whole 1.3L Skyactiv-G Range-Extended BEV part? Yea basically you slide in a $35,000 or so large car with a quality interior that can run as a BEV 90% of the time and if needed kicks on Mazda’s baby 83 HP 1.3L to re-charge the batteries. Give it say a 200 mile all-electric range and a 400 mile total range with +200 mi per fill up and suddenly you have the most practical “BEV” on the market.
Advertisement

Overall prognosis? Mazda’s US sales are pretty shit, they’ve been pretty shit for a while, and they need something crazy to shake things up. To me the RE-BEV’s and the turbo MazdaSpeed Miata do a good job of kicking that off while the return of the MazdaSpeed3 and MazdaSpeed6 takes it to a new level.

Advertisement

Disclaimer:I’m like 90% asleep and don’t feel like editing this or just waiting to post it in the morning so here, take it. It’s good enough

Share This Story