Rental Car Review: 2019 Toyota Camry

I recently had to do some business that involved travelling and driving a rental car, a 2019 Toyota Camry. Work paid for the car and fuel. Didn’t take pics, but it looks just like the stock photos. Review / Thoughts:

Looks: Boring. While trying to find it in a parking lot, I had to hit the unlock button on the remote to see the tail lights blink in order to recognize it. It just kinda blended into the surroundings.

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Interior: Boring. Had a steering wheel, shifter, and infotainment system. Everything worked fine. Nothing stood out. Rental car spec so cloth seats and not much else.

Tech: Boring. Had a touch screen stereo that worked ok & sounded ok. Had lane departure warnings that warned if you departed the lane. Had radar guided cruise control that slowed you down as you approached oncoming traffic.

Engine: It had one. Specs are irrelevant. Very good at less than 25% throttle. Redline was 6,750 rpm, but it objected heavily to anything over about 3k. Didn’t respond well to aggressive throttle inputs. Very good mpgs.

Transmission: It had one. 8 speeds. Shifted extremely smoothly at less than 25% throttle. Didn’t respond well to aggressive throttle inputs. Had sport mode & manual shifting, didn’t respond well to either of those. Encouraged leaving in D and letting it do its thing. Up & down shift pattern backwards (push fwd to shift up, pull back to shift down).

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Handling: Boring. Great if conservatively driving right in the middle of the lane. Didn’t respond well to curves or aggressive inputs.

Verdict: The perfect car if you are the type of person to spend your entire existence at less than 25% throttle. You have an 8-5 job where you show up every day and do the same thing and always get perfect reviews from your boss. You envision metaphorically pushing the gas pedal more than a quarter of the way down in life the same way you envision literally doing it in your car, in that it is something you absolutely should not do because bad stuff happens then. You are immune to the detriments of working a soul-sucking cube job in a corporate environment, for you have no soul. Your fear of consequences for your actions defines you. You will never experience risk, reward, success, failure, joy, sadness, or any feeling outside of dull, boring, grey, numbness.

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TL;DR: The opposite of opposites attract. Boring car for boring people.

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