I’ve finally done it, after years of digitally stalking all of you, I’ve joined the orgy that is Oppo. My windows phone blows harder than a 45 year old hooker with dick candles on her whore birthday cake. It makes kinja hard. Automobiles make me hard. The 80s make me hard.

This is my 87 300zx NA erection maker. I live in Austin and am not a teenager, though you might not know it based on all those dick jokes. Thrilled to be here and thanks for having me.