Rich Juzwiak and Joanna Rothkopf of The Muse are my new heroes

For convincing me that the apparent #1 movie right now (in early September, which as my dad likes to say is like “being the #1 surfer in North Dakota”), Don’t Breathe, is not only likely the worst movie of the entire year as well as the most poorly-conceived movie of the year, but quite possibly the entire decade, narrowly beating out the overly-adrenalined schlockfest that was Act of Valor (I’m sorry but there are way too many actually good patriotic movies out there if you’re going to throw the “you have to like this movie if you’re a patriot!” card, in which case you probably think Trump is the greatest thing since hair gel anyway).


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