This is the automotive equivalent to that ‘roided out guy at the gym that can’t stop talking about his tough mudder competitions, while hogging the equipment you’d plan to use. What those ‘roids do to your muscle, they do the opposite to your grapes. Maybe I’m just muddying the waters now, but don’t we need to solve the real question? - Is manhood really required to own this boggin’ monster?!

Long before Chevy did it as OEM, this owner installed a hood scoop. I wonder if the salad tosser is there too?
Image: Craigslist

Some men are bigger than others. Fact. Or so one of my favorite movies, Braveheart, has always said.

It isn’t the size of the truck, but the mud hole your throwing it at?

God that sounds dirty. I need to take a shower after saying that one... but I’d need one after driving this truck, as any mud puddle between home and work requires a swerve off the road to play.

DA NA NANANA NANANA... MUD BOGGIN’!
Image: Craigslist

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This is a 2000 Ford F-250 4wd, extended cab, long bed, with the venerable 7.3L Powerstroke diesel. It has 225,000 miles BUT, it has a “new” engine and transmission. Both advertised as “dealer” installed. It has considerable work done to the suspension, mostly appearing custom to my mostly untrained eye.

Underside doesn’t show much evidence of off-road time.
Image: Craigslist

This road legal monster truck has a 16” lift. Therefore, you must have a gentlemen’s sausage the same length... no... lifts don’t have anything to do with manhood. Another fact.

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Lifts have to do with the size of the obstacle you theoretically plan to go over. Mud trucks need to be BIG, otherwise you’d sink in that big ol’ muddy hole behind the tractor store. This truck has 39.5" tires. So with the 16" of lift we have exactly forty-five feet of height to go through puddles... wait, I think my math is wrong?

My wife thinks its probably the bumper sticker not the lift.
Image: Craigslist

The seller ads a large paragraph about their knowledge behind why this leaf spring suspension is best:

Just a little info for people that may not understand how my truck is safer than most.

The benefit to a 10" leaf lift and a 6" shackle lift is you still have suspension. It’s a more expensive way to go but it’s the best way to do it. Anything over a 10 in Ark creates no suspension. You can’t have Flex in a leaf spring that arks completely up. 12", 16", 24" lifts that are just leaf spring you may as well weld your axle with straight bar. And if you left anything that has a coil up front it’s dangerous to s*** because you get a death wobble. The setup on my truck is the best way to go and the safest. I have absolutely no bump steer. If you see guys that have lifted their truck and don’t know what they’re doing and they hit a bump going down the road it’s steers them into the other lane.

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I’m sure this makes much more sense if explained in person, but after reading this I’m a little lost. I’ll only add my two cents - anything with a big, soft, and flexible suspension IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING at high speeds around even minor bends in the road. It feels like it’s about to topple over.

Getting a bike into the bed takes the most balls of all.
Image: Craigslist

So what do you think? You want this big white ‘strokin, ‘boggin beast?

It can be yours for the clear sum of:

$29,900

I’d think that if you were to buy this, mama is going to remove your manhood and put it in a jar next to the bed.

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