I was driving back to work after lunch today and there was a work crew blocking the left lane, cutting down some trees in the median.I was in the left lane, so I got one lane over to the right about 1/4 mile before the crew. As I got close, they started cutting and a stream of what I thought was sawdust was coming out of their equipment into the next lane (the one I was in). I wasn’t able to change lanes in time but figured it was just sawdust, no big deal.

Turns out it was basically a damn hose spraying tree sap. So now I can’t see out of my windshield at all, and I’m in moderate traffic moving about 50mph. Not a happy situation. I start swearing, hit my windshield sprayers, and hold the switch down until I’m out of windshield fluid. Still can barely see, so I pull into a conveniently placed drive-thru car wash. It barely touches the sap, but at least now I can kind of see through my cloudy, streaky windshield.


I made it back to work and now I’m just fantasizing about encasing that work crew in amber like a Jurassic Park mosquito, and dreading cleaning sap off of my entire fucking car. What the actual hell.

Illustration for article titled Sapped!

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