If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Scion iA: A Car that Really Is in the Joint Venture Closet

About a month ago, Toyota’s “with it” brand, Scion, revealed two new models at the New York International Auto Show, that would potentially restore the face of the marque. When the 2016 iM pulled up in front of reporters, the car didn’t seem so bad. It’s a rebadged Toyota Auris (one of them special Non-US models), which all that is is a Corolla with a tad more trunk space. It has a nice, flowing design that could really intrigue the young’uns into making a purchase. So kudos to Scion for that, that’s one step in the right direction. However, the other car that pulled out may have caused a couple of gasps.

This is a cool car, without a doubt. A huge step up for Scion. But what goes up, must...

Advertisement

Next, they rolled out the Scion iA. That car made a mark in history as Scion’s first production sedan. However, they might want to relocate that mark and make it elsewhere in time, because if there is one word I could use to describe the iA, it would be “fugly.”

Yes, fugly is a great, no, perfect, no, impeccable word to describe the 2016 Scion iA sedan. Why? because it’s simply a mongrel that was never meant to be. What do I mean by that? Well, let’s discuss a different car hype for just a few moments, and then we’ll see how this correlates.

Mazda’s a nice brand, nowadays. The Mazda3 is a great car, as is the Mazda6. Well, basically every other car in its lineup is fantastic—fantastic except for one. The Mazda2, just by looking at it, exuded a rotten visual stench of low grade. The plastics on the dash were chintzy and the styling, was simply vanilla. (Unless you got it in its “Aquatic Blue Mica,” then it’d be the shittiest Cotton Candy Ice Cream you’ve ever tasted. If you got it in “Spirited Green,” make that Pistachio Ice Cream of the same pedigree.)

When Mazda revealed its second-gen Mazda2 in Paris, fanatics were gleeful. Finally the brand can sufficiently compete against its subcompact rivals. According to Cars.com, however, the model will make it stateside—in fall 2015. Even Canada will get it before us. So the U.S. has to wait for this monumental step in the SkyActiv Revolution. How do we get it sooner?

Advertisement

Well, apparently, the only solution as the least expected joint venture since Ford teamed up with Nissan to make the Mercury Villager & Nissan Quest back in 1992. Mazda teamed up with Scion to make the ugliest automotive baby conceivable—the Scion iA.

It looks like a Prius C had some afternoon delight with a Mazda3. Something tells me they should’ve used protection.

Advertisement

The front looks like they’ve ripped it straight off a Toyota Prius C, a car already so catastrophically bad, you have to be a clinically and legally insane imbecile to own one. You do see remnants of the refreshed current-gen Ford Focus here or there on the front fascia, but you’d have to look deeper to notice.

While the car would look a whole lot better if Scion did some bodywork with the rest of the car, well, that’s exactly my point—they didn’t. All the rest of the iA is, is a Mazda2 with a Scion badge slapped on its ass. Even the rims are figments of Mazda’s imagination. Scion put almost zero to none effort into this car as far as styling goes.

Advertisement

Now, Scion will be using Mazda’s SkyActiv engine in the iA, which is a big plus. These are peppy little engines that will put a smile on your face when you drive it as well as when you stare down into the filled crevice of your wallet. I’m not saying the car is bad, ...as a car. It particularly offends me that the car is trying to tell us “Hey, I’m a Scion, too!” when we can all see that Mazda rear end sticking out of its Scion cloak. And none of us like a bad liar. It doesn’t want to openly admit to being a Mazda, but we can all see that it is, and that’s the definition of being in the closet.

Share This Story