It occurs to me that I don’t think I’ve done a summary of all the properties I’ve tried to buy to further my car habit... so here we are. I’m only covering properties that I made offers on or came very close to.

The One That Got Away - April 2016

This is when I first decided to get serious about buying a shop. My initial search was actually for a commercial building, before I realized how difficult that is, and contacted a friend of a friend who is/ was a commercial realtor.

As luck would have it, she had the perfect place. Largeish shop in a sketchy area of town. Downside is it actually came with a house, which I didn’t want as I was barely keeping up with maintenance on my own place, let alone a second property.

For $110k I sincerely regret not buying this, but hindsight is bullshit and I let it get away. I didn’t have the money, didn’t love the area, and didn’t want another house. If I’d know how far afield my search would get in the coming years, I would have made it happen.

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The Crazy Awesome Property - November 2017

After realizing I needed more money and a better job before actually getting serious, you can see there was a bit of a gap between my first and second attempts at buying.

This property was 5 acres, on a hill, and close to my house. Completely unimproved but with a great 270 degree view it was perfect. Offers were made, a deal was struck, and the deal was in the bag.

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Until the seller refused to sign any sort of legal document.

He would, however, be open to taking 20% in earnest money and giving me 7 days to get my paperwork and in order.

Needless to say the deal fell though and I am happy to report as of last check the property remains unsold.

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That clown can eat a bag of dicks.

The Mediocre Property - December 2017

After that fell through, I promptly made an offer on the 5 acre lot across the street. Not as nice, but it would still work for my purposes. The downside was they had it listed for about 20% more than was reasonable given the area, lack of utilities, and un-flatness of the land.

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My first offer was low and the seller refused to counter.

My second offer was better and the seller refused to counter.

My third offer was top dollar and the seller refused to counter.

Several months later the property sold, but sadly the records aren’t available online in that county, so we’ll never know for how much.

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The Crack Shack - March 2018

I think I summarized the Crack Shack the best in my old Oppo post about it:

the whole inside feels like a fever dream of a methed out toddler

And so it was. The shop was small and really random and the lot was too large at 10 acres, but as my expectations lowered I began to think that maybe this was ok.

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Unfortunately it was at this point my realtor betrayed his meh-ness and we were never able to put anything together. I eventually tried going around him, but at that point it was too late and the property sold.

The Crack House - July 2018

That realtor fired and some lessons learned from trying to finance the crack shack, my search shifted to shops with houses on the lot. The reason being is land is hard to finance, land with a shop on it is very hard to finance, but houses are easy as long as they’re not terrible.

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This one was terrible.

In the process of putting together an offer it came out that the house had major structural, sanitary, and safety issues that the seller was unable to address.

The massive shop wasn’t enough to save this one and I let yet another slip away.

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The CDC House - August 2018

The latest entry comes courtesy of a bank owned property with an optimistic realtor.

Beautiful treed 3 acres more or less. Property has a nearly new shop with electric and water going to it and a loafing shed. Home is 2 bedroom, 1 bath, with a lg liv area and fireplace, formal dining, lg kitchen with lots of counters and cabinets.

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This, of course, makes no mention of the major structural and safety issues, the rodent infestation, the termite infestation, or that the house has been bank owned and sitting for four years.

Against all odds I made a soft offer on this one as a cash sale with the house considered a liability, not an asset. As this offer, though completely sincere, was for less than 50% of the asking price, I’m not expecting to hear back.

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And there you have it

Those are the major ones, though there have been many minor. You never know what tomorrow’s search alert will bring so... :fingers crossed: