“I feel that life is measured in achievement, not in years alone.”
“I feel that life is measured in achievement, not in years alone.”
Illustration for article titled Sitrep: lit up like a Christmas tree

Buckle up folks cause this list of maladies reads like one of those crazy person string maps in a crime drama:

First things first: I have a dead bulb. I have had four dead taillight bulbs in six months. I’m pretty sure the moisture seals on the units have failed. I could swap in the OEM ones that came with the car but they are pre-facelift and dated as all hell. Currently looking for a good deal on a new pair of Taiwanese knock-off facelift ones.

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I’s also got no ABS or DSC because of a bad wheel speed sensor. I know which one and have a replacement but the wheel I need to remove has seized lugs. I have no access to power tools and I can’t use a breaker bar with the car’s included lug wrench.

If and when that wheel comes off I have to throw the spare on after and drop the wheel off to get a slow leak fixed.

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I’m pretty sure the CEL is for the vehicle speed sensor (cruise control stopped working at the same time) but I can’t verify

BECAUSE

No scantool is currently able to connect to the ECU! Joy of joys! I’ve tried three different ones.

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I want to say this is due to the sunroof leak that I’ve been ignoring because it’s too scary to try to fix myself and I can’t afford to have a shop do it.

I’ve felt moisture where my feet go after some torrential rain recently so I need to pull the lower dash panel off and inspect the OBD port for corrosion.

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I have an airbag light that I can’t scan. See above issue.

Car is also way overdue for state inspection due to the aformentioned airbag light. Luckily the local cops are pretty chill.

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Also my headlight auto-adjusters are broken and I need to replace pretty much all the accessory pulleys because they’re getting quite loud.

Then there’s that thing with the AC condensor fan I posted about last week. Gotta replace that before the weather gets hot and it needs to run all the time.

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Before I do that job though I’m casually looking for a new front bumper because mine is split. Removing it is part of the fan job so might as well kill two birds.

WELCOME TO GERMAN CAR OWNERSHIP

Illustration for article titled Sitrep: lit up like a Christmas tree
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ETA: My phone does this thing where it scans image content and auto-tags images with what it thinks is relevant. My dash light pic got tagged as “Holidays" because even my phone thinks it looks like a Christmas tree!

Illustration for article titled Sitrep: lit up like a Christmas tree

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