Shrimp on the Barbie anyone? In this week's Sittin Waitin Wishin, we're going down unda! So break out your boomerangs, sharpen your big knives, get as many vaccines as you can, and stock up on your anti venoms, here's comes some Aussie muscle! Yes this week we are diving into the newest car in Chevy's stable, the SS.
For those of you that are too young to remember what a SS is, or never went to cars shows with your parents in which case I'm so sorry, SS stands for Super Sport. Back in the days of old, Chevy would brand their high performance cars, things like the Camaro, Chevelle, and Nova with the SS badge after some part of the car was reworked to either handle better or make the car go faster. It even continues to this day with the Camaro, and a few other cars. It's a trim level that you used to be able to purchase with your car. Now however, Chevy has decided to brand a complete car and SS and that is where they lost me.
(This is a SS, except for those fugly wheels, those suck)
You see a SS can't be an entire car. It promises too much. It promises that the entire car will be an uncompromised beast of a machine, and frankly, it isn't. So let's get to this week's SWW.
(JJ Abrahms inspired flare effect brought to you by Chevy)
When you first step into the interior you are greeted with enough chrome to blind a small group of children. It's on the door sill, the steering wheel, around the gauge bezels, the shift knob, around the stereo console, the HVAC controls, at the base of the gear selector, on the seats, and in the middle of the steering wheel encompassing the Chevy monogram. It's just chrome this, chrome that, it's as if someone got a really great deal on chrome paint and went bananas on this car. To make matters worse, where the original cars actually had metal, all of the chrome bits on this car are chromed plastic. Guess what feels really cheap when you touch it? Chrome plastic. Wanna know what is also does? Show fingerprints. This amount of shiny surface area is just a haven of fingerprints, spit, and other bodily excretions to show up on your nice new shiny car. I can't figure out why people like chrome.
What Chevy then did was even worse. Because the new hip thing at the Auto Show was Piano black plastics, Chevy highlighted and accompanied the shiny chrome plastic with that god awful piano black crap. I'm sorry, this trend needs to die and die now. It looks tacky, it feels tacky, and it should not be on the car. What is a real shame is that all this chrome and black plastic detract from actually the interior being a nice place to be. The plastics are nice and not harsh like many other brands.
The seats are decently comfortable, though as always mentioned a bit to high for my needs. And the steering wheel feels nice in your hands. But because of all the shiny bits, you can't flipping see anything else! My suggestion if you get this car, get some sunglasses, you'll need them.
(OH GOD THE FLARES! WHY JJ WHY!)
After you put your glasses on to combat the glare and bright work, you can look at a relatively nice set of gauges. However, while looking at these I remembered I had seen these before in the new Silverado too. They have identical gauge clusters. Why? I have no idea, why put truck gauges especially on a car they want known as a performance car?
Moving on to the back seat, the car flops a bit. The back seats are very cramped and the slopped roof line really intrudes into the cabin. It also seems that Chevy decided to make the front seats pretty comfortable and the back seats like a wooden bench. Are they just planning for this car to be a cop car? Is there an installable cage? The back is nowhere I would like to spend a few hours in.
(Right foot green, left hand blue......I'm a pretzel.)
What also really hurts this car is the ever mounting onslaught that is buttons and knobs in modern cars. Really, why do I need a million buttons to control the radio, or the HVAC? I counted, there are 45 buttons, and 7 knobs just on the steering wheel and console alone. Who needs that many? No one that's who.
This car really could have been a potential buy for me some day down the road. I love big 4 door V8 sedans. They are unbelievably fun, and you can take a bunch of people with you while you're having fun! Here's what Chevy did wrong with this car. They Americanized it. Not that Americanizing is totally wrong, but the average American isn't going to buy a 4 door V8 muscle car. They don't want that. You know who does want that, people that are already familiar with Holden and all the awesome shit they do! Just bring over the car. Badge it as a Chevelle SS and give it a proper transmission. You won't have a hit, but in today's need to sip fuel, it was never going to be a hit.
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