What is the sound of one piston slapping?
What is the sound of one piston slapping?
Illustration for article titled Sittin Waitin Wishin: 2014 Maserati Ghibli

"Well we're moving on up, to the east side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Movin on up to the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie!" So I guess we're moving on up, maybe not from the projects or slums, but rather from a Mazda. And moving on up we are, to a Maserati! Now, many of you are familiar with Maserati, from their most popular car, the Bora. Wait that's not right, I meant the Quattroporte. Maserati in recent decades has transformed its identity fairly drastically. In its early days it made sports cars, beautifully designed, hand build works of art, like this Tipo Birdcage.

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Illustration for article titled Sittin Waitin Wishin: 2014 Maserati Ghibli
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(Great googly moogly)

Now their brand has become somewhat soft, somewhat big, somewhat rather boring. Wait, that's not right either, man hand writing this first is way harder. They make ridiculous saloon cars. Yeah that's right! The Quattroporte has a Ferrari derived V8 which sounds magnificent. So does it have a raucous dirty sound, the QP has become the choice car of mafia bosses everywhere. They don't get Mercedes, or Audi's, or even Jaaaag's. They get something more sinister, more tough, more Italian, where the mafia has its roots. Now, wanting to capitalize on their success of the Quattroporte, Maserati has launched the Giblets. A car for the more down trodden mafia don, but nonetheless threatening. Priced considerably less expensive than its big brother, the Gooseberry is set to go after buyers looking around at M5's and E63's. Now being Sittin Waitin Wishin, we don't care that it has a few different engines, one even with twin turbo's , but rather what the interior is like, and continuing with tradition, we start in the passenger seat!

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Illustration for article titled Sittin Waitin Wishin: 2014 Maserati Ghibli
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As you'd expect with a Maserati, the Gobo Fraggle's seats are amazingly comfortable. The leather is extremely plush, or in my own recordings "f-ing wonderful on my butt!" The seats are supportive, which they should be considering the performance nature of this car, and who it is aimed at. Now because this car is pretty much a shrunk down Quattroporte, you do get less room in the back. However, the Quattroporte has so much room in the back, you don't lose much. The back seats of the Goo Goo Doll still has plenty of room for the mafia boss on a budget to hack up the local rat without worry of getting anything on his or her suit!

Illustration for article titled Sittin Waitin Wishin: 2014 Maserati Ghibli
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The dash is busy, but not in a bad way. It almost feels like the dash of a Michael Bay Transformer. I'm half expecting it so say "Decepticons transform!" Angles and cut lines everywhere the eye can see. This isn't though a bad thing; it makes the car actually seem almost purposeful. Like a proper race car. Obviously, it's not, but it really wants to make you think it is. Throw in the massive amounts of Carbon Fiber that is literally on every panel, and you might be able to make a proper race car! In addition to the Carbon Fiber, brushed aluminum is also fairly common in the cabin. The Gummi Bear is really trying hard to appeal to the boy racer mafia boss. Because you know those exist right? Right? I will say that the infotainment console looks a bit cheap when not turned on, like the go lost rummaging through the Fiat parts bin, and just decided, hey this 08 Panda dash will do just fine!

Illustration for article titled Sittin Waitin Wishin: 2014 Maserati Ghibli
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The steering wheel feels really sublime, it feels just great, it's not too big, which some of these larger luxury cars steering wheels can feel like. The paddles also feel wonderful too, they feel super crisp. In addition to the whole experience in the cabin is just awesome. The gauges are pretty brilliant to look at too. Everywhere you look, the car makes you feel like you're in its big brother, but the Bruce Lee doesn't just feel like a shrunken down Quattroporte, but a great evil luxury car in its own right. The choice is an obvious one for the wannabe racecar driver mafia boss and me. The Maserati Gandalf is a wonderful machine and worth the purchase. Now if it could just get rid of that cockamamie name we would be alright!

Illustration for article titled Sittin Waitin Wishin: 2014 Maserati Ghibli
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Photocredit to Maserati, Me, and The Godfather.

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