Like clockwork, automakers usually discontinue and replace their existing models with new ones every four to five years. However, a few cars occasionally escape the clutches of obsolescence, living on to be comically long-in-the-tooth and arthritic. These six cars are among the oldest currently on sale.
The second-generation Scion xB was introduced in 2007 for the 2008 model year. And boy, oh boy, does it show. Now, the xB wasn’t exactly the fittest or trimmest subcompact on the scene when it came out. The bulldog athleticism of the first-generation model had sadly given way to a pudgy pug face and shar pei skin folds. And after a facelift in 2011, it only grew more flabby and fugly.
2015 is supposed to be its last year on sale. The end can’t come soon enough.
Photo credit: Scion
The Chevrolet Cruze has a replacement just over the horizon, but it should’ve been here, like, yesterday. The current Cruze has been on sale since 2010 in America, 2008 if you live in a place called Europe. That’s old. And let’s be honest, it hasn’t exactly aged like fine bourbon, either. Just look at its frowny, flabby old man face. Ain’t enough Botox in the world to fix that.
Photo credit: General Motors
Are you considering a Chevrolet Tahoe or — Heaven forbid — a Toyota Sequoia as your next purchase? Well, Nissan had rather you buy an Armada instead. Except you’re not going to do that because it was originally introduced for the 2004 model year and it felt dated even back then.
It was last updated for 2008. And by updated I mean, not really changed at all. Nissan says a replacement based on the new 2004 F-150 — err, excuse me, sorry — Titan should be out in the near future.
Photo credit: Nissan
You remember the Dodge Avenger, right? Yeah, sorry. Anyway, the Journey is pretty much a wagon version of that.
Huh? What’s that? Yes, it comes in brown. Yes, it comes with a diesel and a manual, if you live in Europe and like Fiat badges. Wait... are you seriously saying you like the idea of a Dodge Avenger wagon with Fiat badges? Uh, OK then. Whatever you want, hoss. I’ll sit in the corner then.
On sale in the US since 2009, the Journey is Dodge’s last holdout from its diabolical Daimler days alongside the dying Grand Caravan. It was last updated for the 2011 model year. There’s no official word on when or how it’ll be replaced, although rumors suggest that the Journey and Grand Caravan will merge into a single model someday.
Photo credit: Dodge
There’s this thing Volkswagen’s been building in Europe called the SEAT Altea. It’s like a minivan basically. Now, of course, we Yanks haven’t really heard of it, much less seen one in person. But I’m sure that Europeans are sick and tired of looking at it, considering it’s been on sale there since 2004.
Yeah, really, 2004. And it’s never received any real updates. This is an 11-year old design, and it’s also based on the same old VW Jetta that’s hauled countless Revlon-huffing sorority girls and pilsner-swilling jock meatheads to and from back-alleyway abortions and kegerator parties and sleepyheaded Econ 101 classes here in the US.
Photo credit: SEAT
Fun fact: I almost forgot that Toyota still builds this stupid ass thing, and I had to shoehorn it in on this list at the last minute. The Toyota Sequoia has been on sale since 2008, remaining largely unchanged since then. And Toyota, it seems, has grown addicted to building it. They said 2014 would be the last year for production. Then they just kept going for 2015, and there’s no official word if the end is still in sight. Maybe someone in Tokyo needs to setup an intervention.
Photo credit: Toyota
Hi! I’m Blake Noble and I think writing about myself in the third person is awkward. So instead, I’ll just depreciate myself in the first person. I am a writer studying journalism, and I once spent half a year blogging confused nonsense. I also wrote an article once that pissed off the entire Chrysler 2.2 fanclub. I drive a Dodge Dart because I was told its really an Alfa Romeo. You can follow me on Twitter here and reach me via email here.