An overwhelming majority All car accidents I've ever been involved in, happened because someone couldn't be bothered to turn their head around and backed right into me. Seriously. There have been four, three in cars owned by myself, and I wasn't even in the car for two of them. Also, none of them involved my beater '94 Pontiac Grand Prix that already had more dents in it than a speed limit sign in rural Idaho that the local youth use for target practice.

Two of the culprits were teenagers, the other two were really stupid adults. One was a middle-aged women who claimed that she couldn't see my T-Bird in the backing camera of her Tribeca. The latest escapade was at the hands of the trashiest family in my apartment complex. The people who always smoke in their apartment despite a strict no-smoking policy, think that no one notices the smell that permeates the entire floor, and then argue with the property manager when confronted about it. Every building/complex/neighborhood has that neighbor. And they are the ones who backed into my Hyundai.

My wife was pulling into our parking lot, I was in the passenger seat. They start backing up right as we get behind them. We're only about three feet away, there's no chance of avoiding it on our end, so my wife leans on the horn as a final defence, to no avail. The guy gets out and, after apologizing, states that he does have insurance, like it's some sort of miracle. In his case, it probably is. You can easily see the damage on my car, but I honestly could not tell exactly where his vehicle made contact. I think his entire rear bumper was constructed of tape and Bondo.


Here is where it gets fun, though. Their car disappeared the next day. I started to get paranoid, thinking that these people may just be stupid enough to skip town over a small fender bender. I know it's crazy, but these people are pretty special. After about four days of no car, Mrs. Alfalfa informs me that she spoke to the driver earlier that day. They were in another accident, and their car was totaled. Which for their car, may just mean that they lost a wheel. I wonder what their insurance rate is...