If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

So now I'm 5 for 5.

Got pulled over again the other night. Or, rather, I was already pulled over... with my girlfriend... and without any pants on... But anyway, I told the cop that we weren’t planning on doing anything actually sexual (because we already did, but he doesn’t have to know that...) and he seemed okay with that; he just had to verify our ages because of my lack of pants being pretty incriminating.

That’s when things got scary.

My girlfriend, apparently, has no ID. I knew she didn’t have a license, but apparently her mom has neglected to take her to get a regular ID for the past two years, even though that’s required by law. Even though I would honestly say she looks a bit older than she is, the cops were sure that she was underage. Of course, at this point, I’m realizing that I technically have no proof of her age myself, and if she’s been lying to me this whole time, well shit - I’d become a registered sex offender and nothing would ever be the same. (and situations like that really need to be looked into... I’d propose that as long as the underage party is at least 16 and within 3 years of the other party’s age, that should be legal. It makes no sense that two 17-year-olds can legally consent, but as soon as one turns 18, it becomes statutory rape.) But anyway, she called her sister to verify her date of birth, and apparently that was good enough to let us off the hook.


So I’ve now been pulled over four times, (and stopped once on foot) across four different counties, and I’ve received five different verbal warnings. That wouldn’t be too impressive if I wasn’t just 20.

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