My family and I recently went to visit the mountains, full of tea, coffee and spice plantations and the South Western coast of India, known to be the “Venice of the East” (except its much larger).

The chauffeured car that took us everywhere was a Toyota “Innova” - ironic because that thing hasn’t seen innovation in the last 12 years.

The car we had had 2 completely bald rear tires and a broken seat belt latch, that Toyota would replace for free anyway. But who cares, right? It’s just a 270 mile trip through one-lane mountain/ocean side roads and two lane “highways” with no crash barriers. We did change cars after one leg of the trip, because the seats weren’t right in that one (not because it had 3 bald tires, not at all). This is actually the car we ended up with.

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Sometimes, you gotta drive off the road nearly into a lake to let a large vehicle by.

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Other times, you feel like you’re going to go off into the tea estate down the cliff below if the driver drives into a blind turn too hot. At least the last thing you’ll see before you die will be pretty? :)

We also took a “Safari” in a the back roads, farm lands and outskirts of a tiger reserve (no one is allowed inside). We didn’t want to wake up at 5 in the morning to see Elephants, Deer or Bison anyway (they’re not “exotic” in my book) and it was only $40 for the Jeep.

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Yep, India has Jeeps. Mahindra and Mahindra started making and selling Willys Jeeps under license in India a long time ago and they haven’t changed since.

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And yes, its hilariously UNSAFE! (considering that the roads aren’t wide in the mountains and we are literally going to see wild animals)

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But now you’re SAFE! Mahindra won’t leave you hanging! Check out the cool safety arm rests.

Going roof-less does have its advantages though....

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We also cruised in a house boat along the back-waters of a fresh water lake that meets the ocean - which has farm lands, and small villages inside it.

It’s just like it sounds like. Front one third/quarter of the boat has patio seating and the captain steering up front. Middle one third/half is living quarters, with bed rooms and bathrooms. Last third/quarter is the kitchen/staff/generator.

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The boats were literally house boats (and not boat houses) because most things inside them was never meant to be used on water - like regular A/C units, commodes and sinks, tiles, furniture, stoves and generators. Hell, the captain’s chair is a dining chair!

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Yes, the captain is wearing a “skirt”. People in Southern India wear that all the time. In all fairness, we never went over 1 or 2 miles an hour (according to my handy snapchat speedometer) and the lake has no waves.

I’ll update this post if I find any more pictures with laughable death prevention measures from my trip:)