It’s Spring, which means it’s time to pull your motorcycle out of the garage, charge the battery, inflate the tires and RALLY!!!

But if you don’t have a motorcycle, then it’s time to quit being a lame-ass cager and find that perfect bike. There’s three main reasons why you want a bike: first is they’re great on gas and insurance is dirt-cheap! Second is they make going to the grocery store an adventure. And the third reason is they’ll make you look so damn sexy... but ONLY if you have the right bike!

And since I have impeccable taste in motos, here’s a few bikes I’ve found online that will easily fulfill all three criteria.

1986 Bimota DB1


Bimota is a boutique Italian builder, and like other Italian boutique builders would (usually) utilize Ducati motors. This bike has a Ducati 750 cc v-twin Desmo motor. While not the most powerful motor, it’s a very smooth, robust one. But the best thing about the DB1 is it’s gorgeous looks. How many 30 year-old sport bikes have aged that well? While this bike won’t be cheap, and certainly isn’t for a beginner, goodness gracias it would put a smile on your face.....

2005 Ducati Monster S4R


Do you know what you get when you combine the tried-and-true Ducati Monster with an engine from the 996 Ducati Superbike? You get a très burl naked bike!! This one is on ebay, with less than 10K miles and being offered for less than $5000... what’s not to love? Single-sided swingarm, stacked exhaust, and enough umph to send you into the next county with a flick of the wrist... there’s a reason why people say that Ferrari’s are the Ducati’s of the automobile world. This is one of those bikes that to go on an adventure, you only have to look at it...

2000 Cagiva Gran Canyon


I came across this bike on ebay last week when a fellow Oppotista was looking for bike options. He opted for an UJM, but his loss could be your gain. Like Bimota, Cagiva is another Italian boutique builder that (suprise!) uses a Ducati engine. But in this case, it’s a 900 cc V-twin that’s been fitted with fuel injection. The Gran Canyon was designed to be GS/Adventure bike, and is actually the basis for the first generation Ducati Multistrada. Gran Canyons were actually built at the Ducati factory along side the Monsters- and that’s what this thing is: an off-road Monster. Fitted with dual exhaust, this is one of the most amazing sounding bikes you’ll ever hear. I had one of these a few years back, and I still miss it. It’s easily one of the most brilliant bikes ever. And the thing about them is, since nobody knows what they are, prices are dirt cheap. Where else can you find a 900 cc GS bike with 13,000 miles for less than $3000?!!!! Seriously, someone go buy this- I swear you’ll weep when you experience how epic this bike is.....

1977 BMW R100S


The BMW R100S was the upgraded Sport version of the R100/7. The “S” models were the moto equivalent of BMW “M” cars. Faster than the other models and with more premium features. A reworked valve-train gave the S models about 10% more horsepower and torque than the regular R100 models. At the time, this was one of the four fastest motorcycles in the World, while being the most expensive moto in the World. While most classic bikes are fun around town, they’re not that fun for high-speed long-distance runs; but this classic will rally mountain passes at over 100 mph all day long.. Anyone wanna get their classic autobahn on? Then snatch this bike up!

2007 BMW R1200S


Remember what I said about the BMW “S” models... yeah, here’s the grandson of the above BMW and the pinnacle of BMW’s Sport models - only made for two years, and with very few imported to North America, the R1200S is a rare bird. Not only does it look gorgeous, but at 400lbs dry with 120+ horsepower it was a performer as well. Add in the low center of gravity and balance of the boxer twin... and yeah... you had a bike that would punch above it’s weight, but could still cruise comfortably all day long.

Alright, there you go! Epic bikes that need new mahouts. Go grab any of these and your Spring, your life’s fun quotient, and sex appeal will be greatly improved!