So I am going to tell ya'll a story. I live in the Chicagoland, and like many others in my area I had, just the best morning. I had already told myself that I was just going to call in sick the night before; I have had the worst cough. But I felt actually pretty good after a nice OD of NyQuil and 6 hours of sleep(That is a lot for me). I then get out of bed with a pep in my step, jump straight into my long under britches and sweats, throw on the jacket to face the cold. Psh -47 windchill AINT GOT SHEIT ON ME!
Welp.. I was wrong, apparently -47 does have shit on me. Extreme cold sad face. The first FUCK YOU from mother nature consisted of a frozen key hole, no biggie, I've had this before and take of it rather easily. Then Comes getting the door open. One can of DE-ICE later, I am no closer to having my door open. Decided I was going to take a more radical approach, because the frustration was creeping in and I could feel the frost bite coming along nicely in my toes and fingers. I went into the kitchen drawer and grabbed a butter knife, and declared war on on MOTHER NATURE, and I would not quit fighting until she released her clutches on my sweet baby. Somewhat carefully I began chipping away the ice that was con caved in the cracks of my door. And after about 8 min of chipping that was getting more and more fierce as my impatience rose, She released her icy grasp she had on my car, but the battle was not over.
Key into the ignition, *ricka ricka ricka* *bluh bluh bluh bluh* *ricka ricka ricka* *luh bluh bluhhhhhhh* FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! I AM GOING TO FUCKING, FUCK, FUCK YOU, FUCK EVERYONE, FACCCCKKKKKKKK!
"Ok Shawn, just calm down, we can get though this... Don't you do anything rash with that butter knife.... just put it down... easy, easy, easy, theeerreee you goo.." PHEW that was close.
Now I drive a Miata so the battery is in the trunk, annnnnnnnndddddd you guessed it! Trunk wont pop!
"Where did you hide my damn butter knife alter ego Shawn?! I'm gonna stab you in the jugular and drive it through the window I just spent an hour trying not to break!"
Back to the chizzling...This opens a lot easier than the door, it only took me a few min to scratch along the cracks.
"See Shawn that was easy just chiiilllllll"
Things were starting to look upward, as I got the trunk open. I hooked up the jumper cables and BOOM! SHE LIVES! At this point however I had already called work and told them I was going to be late and thankfully they said just to stay home. My car was still a little stuck in the snow, I had to maneuver it up the driveway a little and shovel around where my car was and such. I then sprinted into the warmth of the house. Grabbed a cup of coffee and sat on the heater.
As I sit on the heater while I am typing this, I find myself wondering if having the day off was worth the pain and annoyance that I had to endure this morning. And with shitty coffee in hand, ESPN First Take on the Television, and feeling returning to my hands, I have to say yes. I cheers you all to a beautiful Monday! Hope your can top mine!