Earlier today, a funny whining noise started singing from under the bonnet. Even with the engine off, the whine persisted, so I suspected an electric motor of sorts was wrong. Later in the carpark, while moving the steering wheel, I heard the pitch of the whine change - immediately I knew it was the steering pump. Quickly searching on my phone, I found out that a whining steering pump, especially when the engine was off, was the sign that it was time for it to go. However, it also said that there was a possibility of fire. So, let's shut it down. The internets recommended the removal of the FL4 fuse, which controls the steering pump - take it off and it shuts down, thus reducing the possibility of fire.
So we got the car home and decided to remove the fuse for the steering pump until the mechanic comes to pick the car up. Problem: the cocking fuse for the steering pump is right in the bowels of the engine bay. To get to it, you have to undo three bolts, lift the fusebox out and remove it from underneath. That's right, there are fuses underneath the fusebox. It's currently 90% humidity here, so dad and I though screw that, let's just disconnect the battery. Oh wasn't that fun.
So, battery disconnected from inside the trunk. Trunk closed. Wait, I left something inside the boot. Omgwtfbbq why won't the boot open. Oh of course, electric boot release. Lifts up back seat, pulls manual release string. Boot pops open. Gets thing. Wait, we forgot to raise the windows. Reconnect the battery. Windows raised. Wait, will the doors work after we disconnect the battery. Ok try. Ok the doors work. Disconnect battery. Now lock the door with the key. Wait why won't the other door lock. Locks other door. Ok doors are locked now. WAIT WHERE IS MY PHONE. Calls phone, only to realise I left it on top of the car. By now I'm sweating like a stuck pig. And it's dark.
TL;DR - steering pump won't shut up even though engine is off, with a possibility of fire. Removing the fuse that controlled the steering pump was out of the question, so it was just easier to disconnect the battery. Hah. Fat chance. Chaos ensues.
Battery has now been successfully disconnected - it now awaits the mechanic tomorrow morning.
//goes back into the house, discovers that a bottle of detergent has leaked all over the cabinet