No milquetoast dangling ignition keys for Suzuki; full-on, pedal to the floor, no brakes at 80 mph. And they're not even recalling them in Japan, Thailand and India.

Suzuki is replacing its likeable Indian-built Alto with the entirely forgettable Celero in many markets. It looked like a decent tin can for those on small dollar and fucks to give budgets, but it turns out to be a bit more exciting than that.

Autocar got one for its regular review, which involves a gentle braking test on multiple surfaces, and one that simulates an emergency stop from 80 mph. The little Suzuki managed the first one, but went full code brown on the second: pedal to the floor and not coming back, no deceleration. Lifting it by force and stomping it again did nothing either. Disaster averted by engine and e-brake application, Suzuki immediately sent another Celerio. Same deal: no brakes.

The model's now been withdrawn from the UK, New Zealand, Irish and Australian markets. That's no biggy, since it's only just gone on sale there. The few customers who had one get a courtesy car.

In Japan, Thailand and India, however, they've been on sale for longer, and they're not being recalled. The Indian ones are made by Maruti, so could be different, but the Celerios that went to the western RHD markets were all from Thailand. If I were a Thai Celerio customer, I'd park the thing stat, and call a lawyer.

Advertisement

A Suzuki customer hurtling toward fiery death

(photo credit: Suzuki)