I revealed myself to be an engine n00b in my post that many of you replied to yesterday.
This community was super helpful, pleasant, and above all, encouraging. You guys seemed to dig that I was really truly interested, and all seemed to want to foster that interest. Very, very cool, folks.
I want you all to know that after reading your replies, I went outside and gazed at my engine bay affectionately for about 25 minutes, marveling at all the new parts that I understood, remembering your explanations, and grinning like an idiot.
Here's a B5 S4 Avant for your time.