Banana car for scale.

You know the one. The one who has ridiculous levels of schooling behind them and a very good job, but then gets on InstatweetBookSpace and is a complete moron.


So I have a friend who is a well-credentialled teacher (it’s important) who has been in the classroom for over 15 years, has a masters degree from an elite institution and comes to me for advice on various topics.

IRL, she can hold brilliant conversations and asks really well thought out questions. Online however, she asks the stupidest stuff. It’s as if her brain completely shuts off.

More annoying is she will ask for advice and then do whatever the hell she was going to do anyway because she wasn’t asking for advice, she was humble-bragging about her kids, or seeking validation for a decision she was mid-stream on already.


Today’s genius moment, knowing I have three kids under the age of 8 and am a pretty serious cyclist, with a kid trailer for the littlest, and she has seen and liked pictures of my kids on their bikes and in helmets.

“Do they make bike helmets for [her 18-month-old]’s size?”


“Oh, well my mom was at Target and didn’t see any for kids under the age of 3.”

So let’s apply some critical thinking here. You want a niche product for your kid and your thought is that if Target doesn’t have it, it must not exist... It’s summertime, the peak time for biking for kids and you didn’t think to stop into any of the 4 bike shops you passed on your way to Target? You’ve seen them on my kids, did you think I made them myself? Are you asking me because you want to get her a helmet, or because you want me to know that your 18-month-old is riding a tricycle?


I like people. I really do. And she is great people, in person, but her electronic/social media persona is one a that would starve a brain-sucking spider.