This post reminded me that, well, you’ve no doubt read the title already.

I live in a very quiet suburban neighborhood that...well, you can actually see for yourself here. It’s not the type of neighborhood associated with theft rings of any kind, let alone one involving...live trees. And yet, here we are.

It’s also the type of neighborhood that suffers from a very arid, hot and punishing climate from August all the way through February, which are critical months for plant growth and hibernation. As such, plants ‘n shit fail all the time including trees. So the homeowner’s association has to regularly replace trees on communal land, which apparently gets stolen by homeowners wishing to replace their own dead trees on the cheap, because apparently that’s a thing now.

No kidding. A year ago (last summer) there was a work crew going around the neighborhood with a flatbed full of young trees, and as I was walking towards the pool they were in the middle of packing up for their lunchbreak and took off in said flatbed, leaving a hole in the ground and a tree lying by its side. In fact there were several holes along this strip of land each with a tree by the side. I get done with my swim and walk back to find the flatbed having returned and a bunch of guys standing around an empty hole probably wondering where the hell their tree went. Sure enough, all the trees that were lying besides their tree-holes had vanished.